Do You Have A Flag


So, we built up empires.

We stole countries,

that’s how you build an empire.

We stole countries

with the cunning use of flags.

You sail ‘round the world

and stick a flag in them.

“I claim lndia for Britain!”

They’re going: “You can’t claim us,

we live here. Five hundred million of us.”

“Do you have a flag?”

“We don’t need a bloody flag.

It’s our country, you bastard.”

“No flag, no country,

you can’t have one.

That’s the rules

that I’ve just made up.

And I’m backing it up with this gun

that was lent from the National Rifle Association.”

That was it.


Eddie Izzard, ‘Dress to Kill’


There you have it. How to build an empire. In the old days, we stole countries, with the cunning use of flags. Crude, but effective. You can’t do that anymore. By now, all countries have flags stuck in them. But you don’t need to steal a country, to control its resources. What you need is a narrative. That’s always been key. A flag, a coat of arms, and all things beautiful for which it stands. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of this club. Why wouldn’t you yield to my flag? It stands for peace and freedom, after all. Don’t you like peace and freedom? You must be a horrible person. I have every reason to be cross with you now. Thank god I could borrow this gun. From the National Rifle Association.

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